Jumping the Broom

August 12, 2011 in Celebrities, Movies, Review

imageFirst of all, I loved learning the tradition about “Jumping the Broom.” I especially loved the cameo with El DeBarge. It took me back to more innocent and less complex times.

Remember “Rhythm of the Night” featured in The Last Dragon, 1985?  Yeah, that’s how far back that takes me. So if you weren’t around then, check it out!  That’s how we dressed.  That’s what interested us. Those were our dorky days and El DeBarge was smack dab in the center.

Anyway, back to the movie. Jumping the Broom was interesting, interesting to say the least.  But, my thoughts went a different way.

Spoiler Alert: I will talk about the ending. So if you haven’t watched the movie yet, you should bookmark my page until you have. Like it on Facebook, Share it on Digg, then go watch the movie. My page will be here when you get back.

 

First of all, I think the characters in the movie take too many liberties way too fast.  It begins with Mrs. Taylor who is meeting the soon-to-be In-Laws for the very first time and the first thing that comes out of her mouth is something that stabs straight to the heart of the bride’s mother. After Mrs. Watson mentions how great Mrs. Taylor’s son is, “I wish I could say the same about you and your daughter.” Of course, she didn’t mean it that way. She meant she hadn’t met anyone yet and obviously, the Watson’s had already met her son.  But, that just gets the party started.

Of course, Mrs. Watson deals with it.  But, the blades are sharpened and they don’t’ stop coming. Now, I don’t expect anyone to be fake.  If you don’t like someone, you don’t have to act like you do. But, you don’t have to ruin a wedding and take occasion with everything, every time you have a problem or something negative to say. There are times when you’ll get your moment.  But, you have to forget yourself when it’s not all about you.

 

Vulgarity Alert: I will be saying something next that might offend virgin ears…

Who the hell does that bitch think she is? When Mrs. Taylor spills the beans to Sabrina that the Watson’s are not her parents, where does she get off thinking that’s her business to spill?  I would have sent her packing in a hot minute. I probably would have escorted her to the car myself to make sure she got off my property.

Now realistically, that would have been a deal breaker for a wedding.  At the very least, that would have slowed things down. Sabrina now has some issues to get through. The wedding would most definitely have had to wait. But, that brings up another issue I have with this movie.

It went from everyone having daggers and stabbing people in the back to all smiles and dancing within a few short scenes.  Vulgarity Alert (again): Bull shit!

I don’t expect movies to be realistic.  I think I’ve mentioned before that movies are great when they are about ridiculous coincidences, the impossible and outrageous circumstances.  But, don’t build me up for the huge explosion and then clean up the mess like it was just a firecracker.

People are telling each other off after letting emotions simmer just below the surface. Cousins are decking each other. Moms are being put in their places and the world gets turned upside down. How many issues can come to the surface all at one time? My mind would have melted if I had been there.

But, let’s go ahead with the wedding. Invite the groom’s mother back after she’s destroyed everything. All three parents stand up and give away their child, with smiles on their faces. Then, we’ll all dance and the cousin who has been striking out throughout the entire movie gets hit on by the most beautiful woman in the world, Julie Bowen.

Sounds good to me!

 

By the way, Jumping the Broom was a demonstration of a union between a man and his wife because slaves weren’t allowed to marry.  Just in case you’ve been wondering since I first mentioned it.

The Most Beautiful Woman in the World Award

April 8, 2011 in Celebrities, Commentary, Entertainment

the most beautiful woman in the worldThe Most Beautiful Woman in the World has been awarded.  It was a long process to make the decision.  But, the panel finally did narrow the field.  The results were published and now we’d like to know how you feel on the subject.  Please feel free to voice your opinion.  The world deserves to know!

You may choose one of the selections listed.  But of course, you can add anyone you want.  For purposes of keeping with the integrity of the award, I reiterate the following disclaimer:

“As you can see, these ladies are not ranked from one to three as being the most beautiful woman in the world. They are simply the most beautiful woman in the world. They cannot be put in any kind of order at all.

“Furthermore, it was very difficult to narrow my choices down to just these three. But, I did it! I finally narrowed my choices down to only those whom I absolutely consider to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

“This panel acknowledges the fact that there is indeed a very beautiful woman in the world missing from this year’s choices. There are quite a few in fact including but not limited to farmer’s daughters, nuns, librarians, teachers, ex-girlfriends, sisters and my daughter, who are not included for legal reasons concerning my being on the panel, being its only panel member and to avoid any allegations of bias. It is only due to a sheer mental meltdown after making my selection that the rest of the most beautiful women in the world were not included.”

I will further reiterate:

“My adoration for women is actually a rather innocent one if I am allowed to judge myself. I will be more than happy to outline my criteria that define my own judgment, because it’s not righteous to be one’s own judge. But, I think I will let my results speak for themselves.”

 

Who do you think is the most beautiful woman in the world? You can choose one of my selections or add your own.

Read the article The Most Beautiful Woman in the World Award.